Have you ever reached a point in your life where you had a fear of success?
For a long time that sort of fear was completely foreign to me. Success, after all, was meant to be a good thing. How could one possibly fear it?
It was not until this year that the reality of what it feels like to be afraid of success hit me. I was nearing the completion of my book when this overwhelming feeling of fear came over me.
What was making me so afraid?
I was afraid of the “After the book is finished, then what?” “Who will care?” “Who will buy it?” “Will people like it?”
Until that happened, I was only more than familiar with the fear of failing. In fact, there are a few blog posts here about handling your fear of failure.
What if It is Not Failure that You Fear?
Little did I know at the time I was finishing up the book that one day someone would be asking me, “What if I have the opposite fear? What if I have the fear of success?
Check out my speaking site, pamelaburke.com. You will see that one of talks is related to young people. Sometimes they make me scratch my head, but there is something about underserved and first generation college student youth that makes my heart melt.
Recently, I was given an opportunity, along with other work colleagues, to talk about our careers with a small group of disadvantaged high school students.
After I shared a story about how I turned down an opportunity at work because of my fear of failing, one of the students asked me that question above about the fear of success.
Honestly, if I had never experienced it myself I am not certain that I could have answered his question.
Fortunately for me, I had an idea what the fear of success was like. It is from that experience I shared my answer. Perhaps you have had a fear of success and wondered like that student what you should do.
Below I share with you what my colleagues and I shared with him and the other young people.
What to Do When You Have a Fear of Success?
Before I dive into what was said, let me point out that these answers are not a catch-all. The fear of success varies. It varies in the sense of what you fear about the success.
In the instance of the student, he feared what the success would do to him and the people around him. He feared that success might change him.
It is on that premise that we shared the advice that follows.
Focus on the next step. Whether it is being afraid of failing or being afraid of success, focus on the next step. Part of our fears is that we look way beyond the next moment. That makes what we want to achieve seem too big. To combat that, focus on the next step, not the one hundredth step. Starting with the first step that leads you to the next step.
You may be afraid now and that is fine. There is nothing wrong with being afraid. Fear only becomes a problem when we allow fear to stop us. Embrace your fear, then take then next step even while you afraid. Being able to do even while you are afraid is wondrously empowering. Be fine with being afraid.
Write down your values. Turn understanding your values and what is important to you into an exercise. Write them down. As time progresses go back to those values and verify that you are still living in line with your values. As you mature and as life happens those values may change, but there will always be core values that you keep. Pay attention that you are staying in line to what is important. For me, for example, not giving up was a core value. That is how I kept going.
Surround yourself with the right people. In a previous post I talked about the type of people who make for poor accountability partners. Those are the amen corner people and those who do not challenge you. Downers will take you or keep down with them. Surround yourself with people who lift you up and who will give more than they take.
Let's hear form you: How do you handle the fear of success? Share your answer in the post comments, on Facebook or Twitter.