Oh that Dang Feeling Left Out Feeling
Have you ever experienced the feeling of feeling left out? How about the feeling of not belonging, not getting opportunities at work, or not being able to find the right life partner?
I can only imagine what happens next. You are all caught up in changing that feeling rather than focusing on controlling what you can control.
Well, recently a work exercise got me focusing on this topic of feeling left out. It brought me back to a childhood memory.
What that story reminded me to do was to focus less on that feeling and more on what the natural progression of life has to offer. That is the story I will share with you, as well as what I took away from that story.
Life Sometimes Throws Curveballs
At about seven or eight years old my mother sat me at the kitchen table. It was one of those round white formica ones. She needed to tell me something.
She told me I was no longer going to be attending the neighborhood community center.
What was the deal? I had not gotten into trouble for anything. It made no sense to me why I could no longer go hang out with friends after school.
I listened anxiously for the reason.
“They say we make too much money,” she said. What did that have to do with anything?, I wondered.
All I cared about was not having friends to play with. Suddenly, I was feeling left out. I felt rejected and alone.
My parents' concern was finding me a place to go to after school while they worked.
Do the Expected
That place ended up being at the home of my sister’s (she was a few months old) babysitter, Mrs. Smith.
Earlier on, I moped around her house missing my friends.
Some little girls my age probably would have loved playing with their baby sister. I was not that type of girl. I liked running, racing, and riding my bike.
One day, when I was a little older, I stood by as the boys in Mrs. Smith's neighborhood played football. I loved football. Heck, I loved sports period.
That is when the unexpected happened.
Or be Guided to the Unexpected
On one particular day, the boys were short a player for a game of football. To my surprise, they asked me to play. Stoked, I jumped at the chance to join them.
I walked over and stood among the boys as two boys took turns picking players for their team. One might think that being a girl, I would be picked last. I wasn’t.
In fact, that day and the days that followed, I was usually picked early on or close to the middle of the process.
Here’s something to know: We played tackle football. Yup, tackle. Not once did any of the boys try to take advantage of that in a bad way. Either they thought I was simply another one of the guys – or they were smart enough to know I would have knocked the stuffing out of them if they tried anything.
Whatever the case may have been, it was good to know I was simply one of the guys and I got to play a game I love with no barriers.
What to Do to Feel Better When Feeling Left Out
I never did ask the boys why they allowed me to play tackle football with them. My guess is that they saw something in me. You see, it was this same group of boys who invited me to play basketball with them. They are the ones who taught me how to play.
Before that, I played stickball with them. I could smack the heck out of ball. And boy was I fast.
So now, as I reflect on that day sitting at our kitchen table, it is clear to me that our circumstances can lead us to other opportunities.
And when you may be feeling left out in one area of your life, there is someone out there paying attention to what you have to offer. There is someone who is willing to include you as part of the group, to give you an opportunity at work, or who will be the best life partner.
So how do you feel better when feeling left out? It starts with you. Choose to not wallow in your feelings or circumstances. Be the best and better version of you. Take on challenges. As I learned, by doing this you will be ready for when your right time comes.
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