What Can Make You Want to Give Up?
You know what you want. You start working hard to obtain it. It seems, however, that no matter what you do, no matter how many adjustments you make, or how much you try, what you want is not panning out. You are not getting the results that you want. As you think about what more you can do, a voice starts speaking to you suggesting, “It is time that you consider giving up.”
If you are considering giving up on obtaining something that means a great deal to you or if one day you find yourself faced with that choice, allow this post to be a reminder of what to do.
The remainder of this post shares a personal experience with considering giving up. I take you through what made me want to give up, what I was considering giving up, and the choice that I made. Keep reading to learn about that choice and how you can apply that to your life.
What Made Me Consider Giving Up?
For the past couple of months, when it comes to this blog, something has gnawed at me, prodding me, and clouding my thoughts, suggesting that giving up is an option.
It has been one year and just shy of five months since can. will. DONE! went live.
I went into this blog writing business (that is not yet a business) believing that, by sharing my experiences with limiting thoughts and losing weight and sharing how I managed both, I could transform lives.
I believed I could be a difference maker for people.
I believed those whose lives were impacted would share and share again the words within these pages.
I did not consider how exactly I would measure my success in knowing that I was having impact, but I suspect subconsciously, I must have.
I say that based on how I react to the number of people who open the blog emails each Thursday, the percentage of (link) clicks within those emails (yes, there is data on that) the number of social shares (shares to Facebook, Twitter, etc.) and comments for each blog post on the website, and the engagement with my email subscribers.
What has been my reaction?
Over time it has varied, but it includes
- I must be doing something wrong.
- The content I am writing is not good.
- I must not be sharing anything of value.
- Maybe I have not tapped into the audience who needs what I am sharing.
- My headlines must not be good.
- Maybe my posts are too long and people do not have time to read them.
- Maybe people do not like videos after all.
- Maybe people do not believe I have a targeted platform.
- Maybe people do not know they are supposed to click links in the email.
Why I have reacted in such a manner?
Recall above I mentioned measurements such email opens, clicks, social shares, comments and engagement?
Well…
Blog post open rate – This is the rate of people who open the emails. Some people have opened and read each email – I will share how I know in a little bit. Some people open emails every once in a while and some people have not opened an email since they subscribed. I had this crazy notion that I should have 60%, or more, open rate. I average about 25% open rate for blog post emails.
Click-through-rate – That is the rate of which people click the links from within the email. This percentage is pretty low. Using the last blog post as an example, 18 of my 61 subscribers (yup, that’s it) opened the email. Of those 18 people, 2 clicked on of the links inside the email. For the record, readers were provided four opportunities to click to get to the blog post. Since I am no longer putting the blog posts in the email, this is one of the ways that I know whether or not people went to the blog post. No, I did not make this change to spy on my readers.
I made the change because I wanted to engage with and gain the trust of my readers. Email is a great way to do that. I also did that because of what I have learned from seasoned successful bloggers – I want people going to my site so they can see what I available here. The plan was that as I grow I would have more to offer. One of those offerings was to start making additional income using my site.
Social shares – When I first started the blog, the social share buttons were on the top and the bottom of the post. Seeing that I was not getting as many shares as I would have liked (hey, I am an overachiever, what can I say) I changed the social share location. On the desktop the shares are on the left of the page. They scroll as you scroll. On mobile devices the share buttons show on the bottom of the page. These shares buttons were supposed attract 20% more traffic to my site. The change made no difference. Many of the posts have yet to be shared.
Post comments – I end each blog post by asking a question. The intention is to encourage people to expand upon the post and to share their thoughts and experiences with others. We can all learn from each other. But, yeah, you guessed it, people rarely comment.
Giving Up is an Option but Should it be a Choice?
Going by these measurements alone I do not seem to be doing that well as a blogger.
Sadly, those measurements suggest I don’t seem to be all that successful at impacting lives either.
All these measurements and the adjustments I have made to change them without seeing a change results in a buzzing in my ear: “Giving up is an option.”
No!
No, giving up is not an option. Giving up is an easy way out.
Maybe it is because I am an Taurus – stubborn – but I refuse to give up on me and most assuredly I refuse to quit on you.
Here is why and what I have learned through the process of nurturing this blog and throughout everyday life.
Giving Up is Too Easy
I hear the word easy often.
“How can I easily lose weight?”
“I want an easy solution.”
“3 easy steps to..”
I have yet to have anyone tell me how they have grown as a person as a result of something being easy or being done quickly.
Easy does not teach you lessons.
Easy does not teach you how to navigate mistakes.
If you get too used to easy, how will you possibly be prepared for when times get hard?
You don’t because easy does not prepare you for when times get hard.
There is Nothing Gained from Giving Up
By giving up, we give in to what challenges us. Challenges help us to grow, but…
By giving up we make the choice to not grow. Yes, a choice. As you grow, you learn more about yourself and about what you are doing. And the more you grow and know, you create more opportunities, but…
By giving up we rule out potential possibilities and opportunities.
I do not know about you, but I want more challenges so that I can grow and create more opportunities.
What to Do When You Choose to Not Give Up
Now that I have chosen not to give up, what now?
This is what I have done and what I recommend that you do.
Regroup. Giving consideration to giving up is a temporary emotion. It is a reaction to your circumstances. The best way to handle such emotions is to regroup and recognize what you are feeling. Once you have done that, do what follows here.
Reflect. I am big on reflection. This is the time you take to assess what is really happening. My assessment revealed that I was trying to accomplish too much at once. That meant I had to prioritize and choose where to put my focus. I chose to focus on doing my best to give good blog content while I focused on completing, publishing, and marketing the book I am writing. Each week I share the book process with email subscribers. Folks are well engaged. I LOVE it! Start reflecting.
Patience and consistency. As much I would like to see my reach growing faster than what it has been to date, it is important that I be patient. I have not been at this all that long and I am doing this while working full-time. The metrics may not show it, but I know I have made great strides since when this site launced in January 2015. With the combination of patience and consistency the reach will happen. Be patient and be consistent.
Lower your expectations. This is not to be taken in a negative way. I mean it in the same way as what is told to runners or someone starting a new workout routine: don't do too much too soon. That is to help prevent injury. In this case, I am protecting you and I from mental anguish. If you set your sights too high, especially for something you have never done before, you are doing yourself a disservice. That is likely why we risk wanting to give up before having an opportunity to reach our goal. Be ok with lowering your expectations.
Set mini goals and learn from the process. Instead of reaching for the moon when you've only touched the surface, set mini goals. One goal I can set is to have 500 new subscibers by the end of 2016. One way I can do that is by inviting people to get my book while it is free. If I was not already learning, I would not have considered that as an option. Learn from the process and set mini goals and you will eventually get to where you want to be.
Be realistic. It would be AMAZING if I had an email list of 100,000+ people after only a year and a half while working full-time on something other than this blog. It would also be an unrealistic goal. Heck, 5,000 might be unrealistic. A list of 500 subscribers may be a stretch, but it is not impossible. Make sure your goals are realistic.
Be kind to yourself. Of my 61 email subscribers, I am two of those (that's how I see if somehow the email got screwed up) and of the remaining, 72% percent I know personally. More often than not, those that I know engage with me in person or via work email. So, even if the metrics do not show that email subscribers are engaged, my personal connections prove otherwise. When I spoke of reflecting, this is another example of what comes out of reflection. Be certain to reflect and be kinder to yourself.
Compare yourself to you. As I have already mentioned, I have only been blogging for close to a year and a half. I am doing this while working a full-time job. Considering that, I am doing quite well to post a new blog post each week and to get out the Monthly Inspiration email each month. By comparing myself to bloggers who have been doing it for years as their work, I am putting undue pressure on myself and I am not being realistic. Remember, we must be realistic. I know from following bloggers they did not get everything right at first either. They had to go through a process of learning what to do and what not to do. I should not expect my journey to be any different, nor should you. Do not compare your self to others, compare yourself to you.
Start the discussion: What suggestions do you have for not falling prey to giving up? Share in the post comments, on Facebook, or on Twitter.