How Often are You Saying I Can't?
Have you heard of the reality TV show, Amazing Race? I am a huge fan.
Contestants travel the world. At each destination contestants must complete a mental or physical challenge. The goal is not be the last team to arrive at the final stop for that leg. The ultimate goal is win the grand prize of one million dollars. The first team to arrive at the final stop of the race wins the race and the prize.
Undoubtedly, each season there is one team or one person that drives me nuts! One season a woman I called “I can't woman” got my pressure up. She began crying or whining, “I can't” before attempting a challenge. I usually screamed at the television, “Damn woman, you haven't even tried yet!!”
Don't get it twisted. In my life that I have said “I can't”, but this woman said it to annoying level.
My reaction to her made me think, however. I wondered, how I got to the point of managing my I can't moments. I share that in a little bit.
Before I do, however, think about your own situation.What actions have you willingly not taken to keep you at a place of I can’t?. Are you like “I can't woman” reacting before trying, or are you trying to manage your I can't moments?
What follows is how I practice dealing with my I can't moments. Hopefully after reading this post you will be willing to give I can a try.
Reflect by Asking Why?
Reflection is a powerful tool. Reflect to understand why you believe you can't do whatever it is you are telling yourself you can't do. For example, ask yourself “Why do I think I can't do this?” With each answer to that question ask yourself more why questions until you have exhausted all possibilities. This exercise will reveal what is really happening. You could be afraid of failing, or worried everything won't be perfect. Keep digging to discover the answer.
Limit Negative Self-Talk
The moment you utter the words I can't, you limit yourself. Hey, there is a possibility that you can't, but you will never know until you try. In trying, don't do like the woman on Amazing Race. Instead, acknowledge your concerns and fears, then tell yourself you are not going to let those concerns and fears stop you. The reflection exercise helps here too. Also, doing so speaks positivity into your spirit.
Choose to Take Action
Action is the greatest opponent against your worries and fears. In those times when you feel like you can't, choose to take action. We already covered one action to take: speak positively. Another action to take is the first next step to accomplish your goal. The action you take does not have to be perfect. All that maters is that you move into action. Lastly, taking action builds confidence.
The Next Time I Can't Pops Up
I know for a fact, I can't moments will show up throughout my life. I suspect you know that too.
With those moments will be times when I originally doubt myself, feel uncomfortable, uncertain or afraid.
But, I also know that when I reflect on why that phrase is popping up, acknowledge my limiting self-talk, then choose to take action, I will change I can't to I can every single time.
And even if the I can is not completely fulfilled, at least I will feel accomplished by knowing I have tried.
That is my message to you for the next time an I can't moment pops up in your life.
What do you do? When “I can't” pops up for you, what do you do? Share in the post comments.