Negativity Should be a Bad Thing, Right?
Negativity means the expression of criticism of or pessimism about something.
What is good about that?
Well, it all depends on how you view negativity.
You see, we all have choices. When something negative happens or is said to us, we can choose to let it be bad – some sort of criticism or pessimism – we can choose to let that negativity work in our favor.
The previous two blog posts, Are You Exercising a Life of Devoted Persistence? and Resolve is How You Make What You Want Happen, demonstrated what it looks like when we choose to let negativity work in our favor. This week's post will do the same.
Names Can't Hurt You and Improbable Can be Possible
Before proceeding with this week's post, let's quickly recap what we have learned over the past two weeks.
In the Are You Exercising a Life of Devoted Persistence post I discussed how what others call us or how others view us can be taken negatively. However, we learned to not let what others think of you define you, to be devoted to the change that you desire, and be willing to ask for help by seeking guidance from unexpected sources. Doing so may seem challenging, but with persistence the change you want will happen.
Improbability is a form of negativity, but as the Resolve is How You Make What You Want Happen post taught us, when we give ourselves deadlines, when we do not limit ourselves, and when we think outside the box, what seems improbable is possible.
It is Only Negative if That is What You Choose
What if, throughout your life, people repeatedly told you what you cannot do or that it be best for you go a different route because the route you are considering is too much of a challenge, what would you choose?
You have two choices. One is to choose to believe what others believe as your truth. The other is to choose to not let negativity be a bad thing.
The latter is the focus of this week's blog post. Our muse is Carla Harris. Read on to learn how Carla turned what could be viewed as negativity into something positive.
Carla Harris: Never Tell Me I Can't
A Little About Carla
Carla Harris has two books, STRATEGIZE TO WIN: The New Way to Start Out, Step Up, or Start Over in Your Career and EXPECT TO WIN: Proven Strategies for Success from a Wall Street Vet. I own the latter.
Not only is Carla an author, but she is also a speaker, singer and a leader. At Morgan Stanley she serves as Vice Chairman, Wealth Management, Managing Director and Senior Client Advisor.
I have had the opportunity to hear Carla speak three times. She was authentically amazing every single time. If you have not heard her speak you are missing out on something great.
One day, on my Facebook newsfeed, a video of Carla appeared. Since I admire her so much, I hit play.
The video is The 2016 MAKERS Conference: Get to Know Carla Harris. I highly recommend that you watch the video.
It is from the video that we get an understanding of how Carla has been gotten to where she is today.
What she shared inspired me to share with you, which is how Carla has dealt with negativity throughout her life.
The World is Not Fair: If You Want an A get an A+
It was Carla's mother who told her what to do because the world is not fair.
Both her parents, Carla said, always made her feel that she was supposed to do well.
Because of her parents' encouragement, Carla believed that she should always go for the top.
During the video, the shot turns from Carla to a black background with white lettering. It read, “In 1980, Harris applied to three Ivy League schools, despite discouragement from her high school guidance counselor.”
After a pause, on a new line it read, “She was accepted to all three.”
Negatively Motivated
Of herself, Carla said, “I am negatively motivated. So when you tell me I can't do something, I am all over it.”
In 1984 Carla graduated magna cum laude from Harvard University while working three jobs to help pay her tuition.
When she went to Morgan Stanley after graduating, she was told to not work in mergers and acquisitions because there were no women and they are really hard on women.
Guess what Carla did.
That's right, she went exactly where she was cautioned not to go.
Her big a-ha! she says was, “If you pursue those things that you are passionate about, then you will get to the pinnacle.” That sounds like persistence and resolve to me.
Check this out.
Of her position as one of few women and especially an African-American woman on Wall Street, Carla uses that position as an opportunity. For her it is an opportunity to impact other women, she says. That is why she writes her books and does speaking engagements.
Lessons from Carla Harris: Negativity Really is Not All Bad
In the video Carla suggests, if she can do it, you can do it.
That means, when someone is spouting negative verbiage at you, choose not to believe it. Instead do what we have learned from Carla:
Believe you can do well.
Let negativity motivate you.
Allow your opportunities to impact others and they will in turn become opportunities for you.
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Start the Discussion: The next time something negative happens in your life, how will you approach it? Share in the post comments, on Facebook or Twitter.