Whose Feelings are Getting in Your Way?
“You're getting in the way of what I'm feeling.”
That is how American R&B/Neo-Soul artist Jill Scott's song Gettin' in the Way begins.
Jill is talking to another woman in the song. I am not going to go much further into the meaning of the song than that. You can listen to it on your own time. FYI – the song is one of my favorites. In fact, check out the video when you get a chance.
For the purposes of this post, forget about other people like the woman Jill is referring to. Instead, flip the words a little to ask yourself: are you allowing your feelings to get in your way?
You see, dear reader, I know first hand that sometimes I allow my feelings get in my way.
Are You Allowing Your Feelings to Get in the Way?
Let's do take a test to give you an idea of what I mean.
Based on the given scenarios below, have you ever said the words that follow the scenario?
- Exercise – I don't feel like it.
- Doing something you don't like or don't want to do – I don't feel like it.
- Public speaking – I'll feel uncomfortable.
The list could go on forever, but I think you get the gist. At some point in your life there is something you will not want to do as a result of your feelings.
Our feelings, however, if we allow them, can get in our way of being who we want to be, of accomplishing our dreams, or making an impact.
A simple example is, your feelings get in your way when you know you need to lose weight or improve your health, but you don't feel like exercising.
Another example is being so afraid of failing (a feeling), that you don't bother trying.
Getting Past Your Feelings
A part of working on being who we want to be, accomplishing our dreams, or making an impact requires that we move past our feelings. How do we do that? We manage our emotions.
Here are some suggestions:
When you do not want to do something, get it out of you way right away. The sooner you tackle what you do not want to do, the sooner you it gets out of your way. And the sooner you get it out of your way, the better off you will be.
Make the task easier. Instead of focusing on the task in its entirety, break it down into small, manageable pieces. You can do that with exercise too. Workout for half of a quarter of the time intended. A little something is a lot better than nothing.
Take a break. When a feeling of anger, frustration, or overwhelm hits, take a break. Walk away from where you are. If walking away is not possible, take a deep breath and listen rather than talking.
Do while afraid. Doing, or taking action, is a cure for going outside our comfort zone. When fear sets in, take action.
Feelings Don't Last Always
Our feelings can be strong, but we control how we act on our feelings.
There is a saying I learned growing up in church: Trouble don't last always.
The same is true of our feelings. Neither good or bad feelings last always. Therefore, do not rely on them.
Get past how you feel by acting quickly, making tasks easier, taking a break when needed, or by getting out of your comfort zone. Coincidently, you will feel a whole lot better.
What about you? How to not allow how you feel to get in your way? Share in the post comments.